Grandma Got Drunk

It was time for Thanksgiving, She wanted to celebrate
Went to the kitchen, a chocolate cake she would bake
The children were coming, she was as happy as could be
Was so very excited, her children she was to see.

To celebrate she drank a large glass of wine
Put the cake in the oven, drank another for old time
She was really feeling good now, decided to go to the store
To buy another bottle just in case they needed more.

By the time grandma got to town, she was feeling mighty good
Saw a freight train passing by, would jump it if she could
Why not give it a try, she could catch it on the run
She took off running, caught the rail thinking “Oh what fun.”

Climbed in the boxcar laughing with delight
Looked in the corner and saw a terrible sight
The Hobo sitting there had a long dirty beard
He was double ugly and someone that she feared.

She told him in a drunken slur “YOU get off the train.”
His reply was, “I got here first, something has cooked your brain.”
She grabbed him by his beard and threw him out the door
Pretty drunk by now, she passed out on the floor.

The sheriff picked her up at the next train stop, hauled her off to jail
If she ever got out of this place what a story she would tell
She sat in there thinking of what she had learned
Thinking to herself, that cake is surely burned.